Yes, it’s true. We’ve all done it (and if you haven’t then god bless you). But really, it happens. It tends to happen the most in college especially if you’re doing some long-distance thing. It’s really the most horrible thing you can do to a person but it does make you think: why? Why did I do it? For me it took a lot of self-analyzation to realize this, something that really helped the healing process and helped me to not hate myself.
The first thing you have to realize is that you’re human. The second thing you have to realize is that he’s human too. Sh*t happens. He’s probably done the same thing and is too proud to admit it and would rather pin all the guilt on you. I don’t care if you’ve been together since freshman year of high school, temptation is out there and it’s hard when you’re apart from one another. College is this new and exciting time in your life and no matter how much you love this person and want to stay with them (and trust me I know the feeling), it’s really just better to be apart while your at school. Don’t do the whole “open relationship” BS that never works and it just hurts you both. I’m telling you I went through all this and I’m giving you my best advice.
Boys and relationships are difficult. College isn’t the time to be tied down anyway. Yes, our mothers have always told us this and strangely, these old women are right. College is for exploring and dating around. It’s for making friends that will someday be your bridesmaids. It’s about being crazy and living life with no regrets. If you’re tied down, your most likely going to cheat. Everyone does. I had to keep telling myself this because when I did it, I had never felt so low in my entire life. Don’t be fooled—I’ve been cheated on too. For an entire year and a half I was cheated on (without knowing) and stayed with this douchebag only to get my heart broken. It’s not worth it!
Being out of college has really changed my perspective. I see my little sister, a junior in college, struggling with the same things I did and it’s amazes me how little it all means when you’re out of school. I know everything seems so important right now and urgent, but it’s not! It’s just like high school; do any of those problems matter any more? No! If they do, you need to move on.
You’re going to make mistakes in your life, huge ones. But you have to cut yourself a break. Stop living in the past and thinking about all the things you would have done differently because you can’t change anything, you just can’t! The most we can do is apologize to the ones we’ve hurt and realize that everything happens for a reason. This is a guiding force in my life and really keeps me going. Try telling yourself that every once in a while when times get hard, everything happens for a reason. And remember to breathe. Time heals everything and in a week, it won’t seem so bad.
So stop beating yourself up—smile! These are the best days of your life! Focus on school because it’s seriously important if you want to get a job—it took me a year after I graduated to find one (and I was on the dean’s list every year)! Times are hard; think about what really matters. Keep your chin up, beautiful.
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